Two Vital Openings Poem by Frank Adie

The anus said to the mouth:
We are two vital openings in human body
And our work is complementary
You do the ‘taking in' while I do the ‘taking out'.
You do the chewing,
I do the pooing
Thus, we are equally important.
Why do men tend to marginalize me?
Because I take out waste,
Is that why some treat me like dirt?


When they wake up every morning,
They make sure they clean you up
And hardly bother about me,
They lose sleep when they notice you stink
But that is quite different with me
When some people take their bath,
They don't even remember to clean me up.
Worst still some use anything within reach
To wipe me after using me to poo
But I see them holding a mirror
Just to ensure that they clean you well,
That is injustice.
I do more walk, and get less care.
During constipation, I suffer a lot.
Excrement as hard as rock is forced through me
As if they want to tear me up.

The Mouth interrupting:
Anus my comrade;
Your conclusion stems from insinuation.
Life is not a bed of roses for me as you think
Daily I envy you, and wish we trade places.
You don't know what I go through
Most people use you once a day
But that is not the case with me
I am a beast of burden
I work round the clock
If I am not chewing
I am drinking
If I am not talking
I am kissing.
Most times I am being tormented
With hot and peppery food
And not all men wash me up as you think.
I suffer so much from the female folk
As some chew gum with me round the clock.
Not to mention mad men and alcoholics
Who don't bother……..

Anus interrupting:
Don't go there!
I suffer a lot in the hands of mad people too
Go check me up in them
You will be surprise to see the debris
Of ten to five years excrement caked on me…

Mouth concluding:
Always wish to be you and don't envy any man.
For it is he that wears the shoe that knows where it pinches.