Unfinished Poem by Lauren Rooney

As I hear the news,
I am alone.
As I take in the news,
I am even more alone.

I have no reaction, no tears,
I am angry.
I carry on like i know nothing,
I am even angrier.

I board the plane home,
I am frightened.
I make the journey home with my dad,
I am so much more frightened.

I get home and it is normal,
I am annoyed.
I talk as though nothings happened,
I get even more annoyed.

I approach the house,
I am devastated.
I cling to my mother and family,
WE are devastated.

I go over my final memory with her,
I am selfish.
I didn't go to see her before I left,
I am so horribly selfish!

I sit in the room with her, not looking,
I am nervous.
I see her finally, to say goodbye and kiss her head,
my heart is broken.

I withdraw myself from the crowd,
I hate myself.
I cry in front of people, looking for reassurance i shouldn't feel guilty,
I am selfish and I hate myself more.

I wish to talk one more time,
I am hopeful.
To apologize and tell you I loved you dearly,
I am forever hopeful.