~> Victoria Won'T Tell Me The Secret ~ Poem by Thad Wilk

I've been wearing Depends now for weeks
Our age group sports them to stop leaks
We like the way they feel upon our tush
Giving our bottoms that upward push ~

Wish they made a brassier that way
I've looked high and low but to my dismay
My boobies just seem to want to drag the floor
And they always get stuck in the dresser drawer! ~

Victoria do you think I should try that new invention
Those ' Sticky Tabs ' got my attention
Just peel and stick to raise em high
Their sure to catch the gentleman's eye ~

They got the biggest raves on TV
You buy one box you get one free!
I won't catch 'em in the drawer no more
And they wouldn't ever drag the floor

Victoria, I've got so many things to ask of you
Like what can be done with this old hairdo?
When I dye it, it just streaks again
Should I be using ' Just For Men '? ~

This five o'clock shadow is killing the mood
My husband keeps saying I look like a dude
Victoria! ! Tell me the (secret) what should I do
Yes you BITCH, , I'm talking to you! ~

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