We Weren'T Poem by Elise Johnson

We Weren'T



i knew this guy, my boyfriend
he was sweet, he loved me
He also loved the sex
We were only thirteen
I thought he was the one,
He Wasn't
We made promises, of friendship, I trusted him
I thought we were forever... until..
He started to ignore me, I heard whispers on the stairs...
something was wrong and Ii had to know what
I called him, late in the afternoon
So he could break up with me, over the phone
I cried...
He left our school, something about footy
Now i hear he's changed, whispers in the classroom
Became a cheater and a lier, he sleeps around
I tell myself he's changed. that he was better once, that he did love me

I'll never know if he did
I called his house one morning, I spoke to his mum
I could hear it in her voice she thought I was the one
I wasn't....

We Weren't....

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
, , , , , , 19 August 2006

Elise this was a goot poem. It was unique with 'We Wasn't' etc..had content that draws the reader, and I liked the flow. You are talented, don't throw in the towel anytime soon! Well done.

0 0 Reply
Duncan Wyllie 16 August 2006

I think that who-ever gave you a vote of just 1, did that on the basis that you were so young when you had a sexual relationship, I agree it is far too young, but I also admire that fact that you have been so honest about this, Lets get to the poem, I always find it a difficult subject judging other peoples poems I am not really interested in the spelling or even the format, for me its about the content of feeling that comes across It can be so difficult when dealing with relationships, as for your poem I think that it has been very expressive, honest and well-presented The problem being, what some people like, others may not and vice vercer Jacque treat your heart, body and mind with more respect, you are so much more then a teenage fling, I hope that you do continue to write poetry because dispite the subject matter I think that you have an individual style, quite unique in it's lay-out Well done Love duncan X

0 0 Reply
***** ********* 16 August 2006

An honest and forthright read Jacque, and the advice below is reiterated from me.13 is too young to appreciate the danger you could be running into. As to the cheat. You learned early girl, take the lesson and never believe a word a man says again! lol Especially when trying to impress! lol Not really! But men do lie and you have to consider this in future if you want to avoid more pain. Falling in love is what young people do and it keeps happening all the way down the road of life, no need to feel bad or sad, just be more careful in future. A good effort, just sort the punctuation, do an unnecessary word edit and finally, put a spell checker through and you have a reasonable poem. Smiling at you, Tai

0 0 Reply
READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
Close
Error Success