Weird Laws Around The World Poem by Sheena Blackhall

You must never:
Dye a dog's hair in Turin
Ride a cow when drunk you're in Scotland
Break wind in pubic in Malawi
Wear Winnie the Poo t-shirts when you're in Poland

You must never:
Chew gum when in Singapore
Wear stilettos on the Acropolis
Take selfies with the Buddha in Sri Lanka
In seas round Portugal, don't take a piss

You must never:
Build a sandcastle in Spain
Walk out without your shirt in Barcelona
Desert your parents if you live in China
Wear lace underwear when you're in Russia

You must never:
Feed the pigeons when you are in Venice
Tell fortunes when you live in Maryland
Fly a kite in regions of Australia
Hike naked if you tramp through Switzerland

You must never:
wear armour in our British parliament
dance after midnight, in the dark, Japan
leave dog poo in clean Capri
Break down, sans gas, when on the autobahn

You must never:
Climb a tree when living in Toronto
Let your hens run loose in Georgia
Wear a mask in public when in Denmark
Wrestle bears when out in Africa

You must never:
Swear when in the Emirates
Wear strapless gowns, if male, in Florida
Grow too fat, they'll fine you in Japan
In Sri Lanka, sport tattoos of mighty Buddha
You must never:
At Alabama weddings, toss plastic confetti
Hang your laundry out in public, Trinidad
Fail to walk your dog each day in Roma
And if you don't obey you'll wish you had!

You must always:
Wear speedos when on French beaches
In India, beat a drum when locusts come
In Idaho you can turn cannibal
(But only in extremes, to fill you tum)

‘Laws are like cobwebs which may catch small flies
But let the wasps and hornets break right through, '
So wrote the Irish scholar, Jonathan Swift
And now as then, that wise man's words hold true