Courtney Lynn

Rookie (10/12/91 / A lil town in sw mo)

What Do You Do When The One Who Broke Your Heart Is The Only One Who Can Fix It? (This One Really Touched Me) - Poem by Courtney Lynn

Sometimes I think about who I use 2 be before I ever met you and loved you, I think about how much you killed me but yet how much I grew, I wonder how I would be right now if we never met,
Did you come into my life 2 teach me about how love and life really is, too hurt me so badly and help me grow 2 be a stronger person,
But yet so much more empty and broken and more screwed up than I ever been. Or too make me feel what love really is, now that everything’s said and done, and we been through so much together and you’ve moved on and have someone else
I wonder if this is a lesson learned im gunna have 2 figure out for myself, I wonder if this hard time that im going through in my life is for a reason, if it was all in the process of getting my life together, buts its hard picking up the pieces and starting all over again, when for so long the person was your whole life and still is,
All I want to do is 2 kiss you, and wake up 2 your face again, and have you laying beside me, and hold you again the arms that made me feel so safe and secure, the tears stream down my face as I know I cant have that anymore, now she’s the one that gets 2 see your beautiful blue eyes and face, and 2 feel your warm embrace, everything that made me feel complete is now hers, and now for once in my life, I have no choice but 2 give up this fight, cuz you already made me in your past and moved on 2 someone new, but I still don’t understand why’d you have 2 lose your faith in us and me, cuz I never gave up on us or you.
Nothing feels the same anymore without you here, so quickly everything have disappeared, and I don’t know how to get back to being me without you, cuz for so long ive built my life around you, I find it amazing how after everything you’ve put me through, I still cant move on, and I still cant hate you, cuz the more I try too hate you I just love you more, and laying in bed at night trying 2 sleep has been the hardest, I think of everything with us, everything we’ve been through good and bad, everything you’ve said too me, things that you’ve said that’s hurt me and made me sad, and things that you’ve said that have put a smile on my face and made me feel so happy, I lay in bed at night and I can still hear your voice as your laying beside me telling me you loved me, like the way you used to and I try 2 drown it out but its never any use, I close my eyes and all I can see is all are memories, its like a television with no sound, its like your haunting me, taking over me and there’s no way out.
But you seem like you’ve found your way out, and you seem 2 be happy, im not doing quit as well, if you haven’t already cared to tell,
It doesn’t matter who im with, no guy affection seems 2 compare 2 the love that you gave me, and I know your not mine, but no matter what my heart will always be taken by you. You said you would never leave me that we’d always be forever, but I guess sometimes love just isn’t enough to make 2 people stay together,
and here I am becoming apart of your past, becoming the love of yours that didn’t last, you said id always be yours, but it was an unbroken promise cuz your now hers but I still feel like your mine, and I will always love you even though you wont, so I guess you were right, im yours forever.

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, February 3, 2010

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