What If Poem by Za7ra Sulaiman

What if I get everything I ever want and it's still not enough, the money, the clothes, the house, the career? What if I get it all and it still isn't enough because I don't have you? What if it brings me back to all those years ago when I realized no amount of money or career or tangible things could ever equate to what we had and our puppy dog love and everything we shared and our laughs and our cries and our talk about a future. What if it's never enough, because the future I created no longer has you in it, while I find myself wishing on stars and picking up pennies like they'll grant me some form of redemption. What if I find the man of my dreams and he is everything I'm supposed to want, kind eyes, steady hands, good intentions, and he gets on his knee and the memories barrel through me. What if I realize I don't want the man of my dreams? I just want the man that haunts them