What Is True Happiness? Poem by maria perez

what is
true happiness?
thats what i
ask myself
everyday
everytime
i get hurt

whats it like
to actually
be happy?

thats what i ask
myself everyday
whats it like to
be happy
to actually
feel
loved

thats the question
with a real mystery
a question with an absolute
no answer

whats it like to
actually smile
a real smile?

not a
pretend smile
the one that just
makes others
happy

some ask
why do you
live your life
with fake happiness
and a
pretend smile
and i say
its deppressing
its a mistake
but i
cant change it

i've lived most
of my life
unloved
with fake happiness
pretend smiles
alone
uncared for

whats it like to
actually
smile a
real smile
to actually
be happy
questions with
absolutly
no answer
that i know
i will never
figure out