What Matters To Me Poem by RIC BASTASA

what matters to me
definitely is not the family

for i do not have any, and i
like to think that what should have mattered to me
is a good education

but i have it anyway and all those years
that good education has not really turned me
into a perfect person

and so i think of something else that must matter
could be money but it has turned me into a slave
could be honor, but it amassed in me more arrogance
could be class and rank and societal functions, but they are but
parts of my day to day existence

and then i go into other matters that most people think really matter:
God, divine light,
prostrate, bending and begging,
humility, prayer

and i tried all these things, inside and outside, the holy grounds,
my sandals left outside the door,
kissing the soil, and raising my arms all for the embrace of God,

nothing happens, i am still in the chains of my flesh, in the sinning
of every hour, in the darkness of my soul,
in the middle of my sorrow,

and i think some more, and more and more,
what matters most is that i must only be patient and i must wait

things are here, things are there, whatever is here, whatever is there
and they are always unfolding, revealing and always telling

what matters most of all, at the end, is always the beginning
watching the days go by,
vigilant when they come and go

and as they once said, what matters most is the journey
just the journey
just this journey
just my own journey

to where? who knows?
what matters most is the question not really the answer
to where? and why? who knows?