WHAT SHE MEANT TO PAINT Poem by Judith Herzberg

She paints what she cannot eat
cannot own cannot name.
She paints what does not keep
still does not change does not stay the same.
She paints what she
cannot grow cannot catch
can't forget. She paints
what she cannot guess understand
or get. What she can't
embrace indulge or blame. Neglect,
let go to seed. Chop down,
tear up. Burn.
Regret. She paints
what keeps her from her sleep
what she cannot recollect,
not in colour. What she cannot sing,
can't enjoy.
The undefined keeps up
its indefinable allure.