What Use To Be, What Could Still Be Poem by Tyler Howard

When I woke up everymorning I use to hate myself couldn't wait to die and go to hell,
then I would go smoke weed and drink heavilyhoping it would take me out my misery,
sometimes I would take a knife and cut myself a little to watch myself bleed, shocking right some people don't know that side of me,
I use to be a beast fighting in the streets fighting anybody who looked the wrong way at me,
Momma at home struggling to pay the bills,
sometimes I was confused because it seemed to me that she was popping pills,
she's a single parent raising eight kids,
although we had our differences I love her and is still tring to forgive her for the things she did,
she was abused by her husband and had a divorce I just found out and yes my heart was torn,
i used to wish that I was never born,
sometimes when I would get mad I couldn't eat for days almost a week even though when I went home there was no food to eat there would be times when I didn't have a place to sleep,
didn't even have a bed of my own we were so poor we didn't have a phone, but what use to be I'm not going to let it take the best of me! ! !