When I Begin To Read Poetry Poem by RIC BASTASA

when love gazes at me
and when i expect its pleasures
i surrender my crown
and bow upon its
whims
& caprices

lots of pains here and there
a little of bliss
some shares of
ecstasies
subject to the frailness of time
the vulnerability of
change
the temporariness of
thrills
a firecracker
of giggles
that in seconds
fade
in the darkness

i am tired of love
and its teases
got lots of scars
that i can never
be proud of
through the folds of
time

in this gamble i am
always bound to
lose with lots
of sores

in these lovely wars
i am always
left out
loveless upon the
twisted arms
of my fate

and so i shift to books
venture in politics and
hide in the quick blankets
of my philosophies

' i am safe' i proclaim
but not until
i see you again

'here comes my foolish heart! '
i wish i can
rewrite feelings

'but i cannot'
i look for that page
that shall make me
dumb again
that which does not make
me understand
even erase
the basic foundation of
my being

i run to poetry
asking for help
hide behind her skirt
sit down there
with her
and then
i begin to read.