Allison McDowell

When I Opened The Door

I looked for somekind
of direction to go
when I felt lost
my inner-person didn't show

I said I loved God
and everything that he is
but I started to doubt
in a moment like this

I looked at myself
and thought of the bad
why, God, did you made me like this
why am I always feeling sad?

Why can't I look at myself
and accept what you made me to be
why don't you show people who I am
because true aspects-they don't see

All they see is a person
with a big, friendly grin
nothing special, ordinary
with nothing within

You said you made me wonderfully
you know that full well
why can't I feel the same
instead of broken and frail?

I kept searching for an answer
but didn't open my eyes
your voice, I ignored
and listened to lies

I told myself I wasn't good enough
I needed something more
I was so selfish, I couldn't see
you waiting at my door

It got worse everyday
I did things that i regret
I needed you in my life
me and myself haven't met

So I finally opened the door
you were standing there
arms open wide, full of joy
a love I almost couldn't bare

Today I realize,
and this I can say,
that I truely love myself
at this very moment today.

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, July 28, 2009

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