When It Rained Poem by Nomthandazo Tsembeni

I held my cushion so tight thinking of you.
I shed a tear and missed every moment i never spent with you.
I missed the scent of the feminine cologne i wish you wear,
the way i think you stroke your hair frontwards,
the way i think you laugh when you're tipsy from few glasses of red wine.
I missed the look i think you'd give me when we finally dine.

I thought of a future i long for, with you.
Those senseless fights that end nowhere,
with us going to to bed,
ending each quarrel with a pillow fight.
A kiss on my lips,
plenty on my shoulders and neck,
and seal the entire conflict with love making.

I thought of the little two angels i wish we could have,
a boy and a girl.
I thought of how you'd never miss our little princess' violin classes,
how you'd always attend her performances,
hold her close to your heart and tell her that we both love her.
I got to a point where my head got filled with all the snapshots of you and our boy.
How you'd never tell him the valid reasons why he aint got a dad
but has two mothers instead.
How you'd never miss any of his football matches
and emphasize with deeds that you might not be a dad,
you are a second mom,
and you are not that bad.

When it rained
i stood by the window and looked outside.
I felt your presence holding me from behind.
I felt the warmth of my palms on my cold hands,
i felt the fast pace of heartbeat beating on my back sending shivers down my spine.

I closed my eyes and
i saw an image of me coming back from work,
all fatigued and strained from a bad day i had at work.
I see myself running home,
to your arms.
Have you looking me in the eyes without asking how my day way,
telling me all will be good.
Kiss my lips and forehead,
give me a tight hug and lead me to the lounge.

I opened my eyes, and
my eyes were a bit blurry.
I quickly ran to the couch,
curled my legs on the couch
and i somehow heard your voice.
I heard you telling me that being with me your best choice,
that it is a decision you will forever rejoice.

When it rained, my love.
I felt 'neath my intestines
a feeling i cannot really explain.
I felt feeling that would never leave my muscles strained,
neither would it leave dams over-full even it heavily rained.

I felt what might have made Eve got intimate with Adam in the garden of Eden.
The kind of feeling that leaves one's mental and emotional being entwined.
The one that leaves you wet on your knees
and gives your heart some peace.

When it rained,
i scrolled down my phone list
and as i was about to call and tell you that i love you,
i realised that you are not mine (yet)
and that you know nothing of how i feel.
So i held my phone close to my heart, and wished you'd feel the same soon.

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