Where's It Gone? Poem by Warren Brown

Strike me Fat!
I know its there -
But find it, I cannot!

I wouldn't throw it out,
Might be useful one day -
Wonder if wifey's been about?

My treasured items disappear
She's always "cleaning up" -
Have you seen my so-and-so my Dear?

Warren, you left it on the floor,
I thought you didn't want it -
So I gave it to the boy next door.

Strewth! She gave it away!
I am driven to distraction -
Oooh! I am bound to have me say!

Waddayamean, you gave it away?
Strike me Fat! It's the only one I had -
I'll re-write the laws, I will, I'll have sway!

Now just you see here, Fredrick, Old Mate,
Ye dinna touch ma things, or else -
Ye'll end up out the flamin' gate!

Whoa! Steady Boy, get a grip on yourself,
You put a foot wrong here -
You'll be black listed, ex-communicated!

Might be peaceful, but such would be a sin,
And what would Ngaire say -
To know I've done her daughter in!

Ooh, she wouldn't be impressed
She'd see me in the jug, locked away -
And forever stay depressed!

For me, she probably wouldn't care,
But, she's a vacuum cleaner too -
Ooh, its enough to make you loose your hair!

But, I suppose if I reflected,
About the way I put things down -
I could improve, I may even be "redirected".

And so, upon reflection, I am now resolved,
To tidy up my habits, put things in their place -
Strewth! And from myself, I might be saved!



… After I couldn't find the instruction book for the scanner