Where's James Poem by Teo White

Where's James?

Are you busy cleaning up the dogs' bms?
or snooping in the wife's jewelry, counting the gems?
Did you go to buy crabs at a neighbor mangrove?
Or just slaving away in the company stove?
Surely you didn't leave on a honeymoon,
to love your lady on a wet sand dune!
Perhaps you're receiving cargo off an ocean barge?
Or the NSA grabbed you on a trumped up charge?
Oh heaven forbid - Your ticker didn't falter?
Are you laying in a casket before an altar? ! ! !