White Heaven By Jahman Hill
So last week I was informed that when black people die and go to heaven they go through this purification process and God will turn them white like everybody else in heaven. No, no your laughing like real talk. When we get to the pearly white gates, we get some white shoes, a golden halo, white wings, white skin. A white robe that's probably hooded and the curse of Ham gets lifted. Um, so before I chalk this up to the dumbest thing I've ever heard at a historically white college university I decided to ask some questions cause who knows, they might be white. They might be right. So first does God turn us white before or after we get to heaven. Like when we die does the black skin fall off our white bones or do we Michael Jackson moonwalk off our melanin strutting to a lighter shade. Do we remove our black like a coat? Does God hang it on the nearest tree, while we all watch and pose for postcards? Is the halo actually a really fine toothed comb that you can't really fit on your head if your hair nappy? Do they sell blue magics Obama's cocoa butter at the angel supermarket or just mayonnaise? Or, do we shed our skin to the sound of privilege seeping into our souls after waking up morning after morning. The streets, paved with gold cuz apparently God just loves gold, while these riches we obviously couldn't have afford in our short lives make the black skin wanna crawl off our bodies. Is this what inheritance feels like? Question two, if everybody white do anybody clap on beat? Three, is this what they did to Jesus, when he died on the cross all woolly haired and whatnot. When he looked up and asked God why he had forsaken him. Did God look back down at him and say "You should have been white". Don't know why you asked to be colored, why you ask for all that excellent. You know it comes with a cost, no don't get crossed with me young man I told you. You hung out with murderers and thieves, you would hang with them too you know. They're gonna call you white after you save them anyway. They will wash you white as snow, clean you up for the camera. You know they say good deeds smell just like clorox bleach and have the same effects. Watch them do you the same way they do history. Honestly I don't think I would say all that which is why I was asking the question. Last question. If God turns me white what will I think about black people? Will I look at them the same way you look at me so to hell with that.