Who Am I? Poem by Lonnie Hicks

The problem with what I think is that what I think
keeps changing so I don't know what I think permanently.

The problem with what I feel is that I have many different feelings,
many times hundreds in a given day; many contradictory.

Trying to create order from this chaos I decide that there is only one thing
I believe
and decide
to have one opinion or one philosophy;

but the world intervenes and forces me to look at things again.

If I refuse then I look like I am stubborn, rigid and some kind of kook
who thinks what he thinks and never changes.

The problem with what I think is that the world constantly intervenes
and changes who I am and, therefore, what I think today or this year,

leaving me with the choice then between being the cork on the sea
or the stubborn fool;

leaving me being neither the Rock of Gibraltar
nor the Wise Seer

so I sit here
and lament myself
and have another beer
as the world washes over me

but at last in desperation
I start to secretly collect
ideas and friends
which reinforce
who I thought I was
last year-
admittedly
a poor remedy-
but at least one that comes
with a tall beer.