Why Am I Still Not Good Enough Poem by Jackie Chou

(Inspired by Olivia Vella)

1. High School

So I was a cheerleader. I had a small waist, long ebony hair, bright red lips. When I flipped my hair the air lit up with a million sparkles.

I owned a pair of real Keds sneakers while all the other girls in the squad had imitation ones.

I was in student government, Advanced Placement English class, and won the Junior Class Poetry Award. My poem shimmered in a glass display case in the hall.

Despite all that, I was still a bug to be squashed, a red target inviting sharp criticisms.

Nothing but a ghetto girl, my manners unacceptable, my upbringing questionable.

Why was I still not good enough?

2. College

So I got mostly A's. My lowest grade was a B+.

Yet I was a despicable outcast, to be shunned at all costs.

I was rejected by sororities, belonging only to a ragtag gang.

I was left alone to twirl my hair in class while the popular kids chatted and laughed in their little clique.

Just because I didn't dress like them.

Why was I still not good enough?

3. Adulthood

I'm a published poet. But why don't my words matter? Why do they blow away like dust in the wind?

Just because they don't produce gold, diamonds, or Louis Vuitton purses.

Nothing tangible that deserves respect from those around me. They're made of mere ink, and the musings of my heart, which nobody cares about.

Why am I still not good enough?