Will I Be Able To See God? Poem by michael billiot

Its so hard to not feel like rotten flesh
so grotesque except
nothing less
than greatness
can I be what I dream of
full of true love
no lust
no disgust
can we adjust
our mind frames
explain things
that keep us stained
in our veins
dark bloody poison
no more reason
to live in regret
cause you forget
through your curse
that your life was worst
than any other
can we discover
truth
without being spooked
by a heart stopping fear
that we've done nothing but smear
blood and guts in everyone's face
why are we so irate
wish I was elated
to be dissipating
just disappear
from everything near
dark sedition
unlawful prediction
of my broken soul
god please take control