Wondering Why Poem by ESPN CHICK

You think I'm better
You think I'm doing just great
But you don't see it in my eyes
That I've been lying all along

You see right through me
Right through the broken smiles
I miss the scars on me
And yeah I still have dying on my mind

Although I've been happy
My heart still has been shattered and bruised
Haven't cried in a long time but there's still tears wanting to fall
But the stupid tears just won't fall

Still stumbling on my own two feet
I realize how horrible life has been
Trying to find out the reasons
But I guess I'm not meant to know the reasons

Especially the reasons why I feel so abandoned
Still feel like I'm lost
Tired of pretending but what else is there to do
I know no one will ever understand

Cause honestly I don't even understand
Understand why do I still feel this way
Still have dying on my mind
Can't figure out why I'm thinking about dying

But I am and I wonder if life was better off without me
What if I was born to be alone
What if I'm suppose to be nothing
Cause that's what it feels like that I'm not suppose to be anything

Many doors have opened up then shut right in my face
Leaving me in tears longing to wanna die
I'm a nobody forever and always
No doubt it in my mind I'm forever in pain and brokenness



March 1,2008