ESPN CHICK

Addiction

I thought I could stay away
But I just couldn't bare it anymore
It was calling my name so I had to
I know I gave in

But I can't be strong
I never was and never will be
I knew it this strength wouldn't last

I'm weak as weak can be
I saw the knife one to many times
I tried to hold myself back
But I couldn't

And it felt good to see marks on me once again
To feel the pain
To feel alive
But now I want more and more its my addiction

I tried to kill it but it wouldn't die
It had me trapped and I couldn't get out
Suicide is no longer on my wish list
But I still feel alone

I still have this pain it lingers me
I wish I didn't have it
And I wish pain didn't exist
But it does and it hit me

I thought I could be happy
But I should know better than that
Cause pain follows me everywhere I go
And cutting is my addiction

I admit it now I want to do it more and more
Just to see the scars to feel alive
Sometimes addictions come and go
And I thought this one was gone

But it came back at my front door
And now its back to stay
Cutting is mine for always
Its an addiction and its hard to break

Poem Submitted: Monday, December 10, 2007
Poem Edited: Sunday, July 31, 2011

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Comments about Addiction by ESPN CHICK

  • Chinedu DikeChinedu Dike (8/12/2018 5:51:00 PM)

    Well conceived and nicely brought forth with insight. A beautiful poem on the clutches of addiction. Thanks for sharing.

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  • Cheryl-ann Goh (8/19/2010 2:25:00 AM)

    I tried to kill it but it wouldn't die
    This is so true! You're a very good poet keep going :) Hang in there

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  • Flames Of Desire Consumed By The Fire (12/27/2009 6:00:00 PM)

    Depression can be rather fatal if it's to a certain extent. Addictions can turn lives upside down and become the same as death...I don't know this addiction to pain, but I surely do know how depression works. It's just a really low feeling that attacks you. I think you wrote the poem with skill without error. It's an interesting read and probably will continue to be...Bravo.

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  • *Trusting You* (11/7/2008 8:05:00 PM)

    I have a different addiction. but I know what your talking about. I'm working on being better at dealing with mine. I really liked this poem good job.
    *Purkey Girl*

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  • Lisa Benningfield (10/11/2008 10:17:00 PM)

    I can't imagine anyone wanting to hurt themselves to feel alive, you would think that everytime they wanted to do that to themselves that they would stop and listen to thier heartbeats in a very quiet place and take in very deep and short breaths and say hey I'm alive what else can I do besides what I am doing. I lost my little sister 3 years ago, she is no longer doing drugs, and she is at peace, but I know for a fact that that is not how she wanted to stop! I wish there were one big cure for all addictions.

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  • James Timothy Jarrett (10/4/2008 9:51:00 PM)

    So sad. Hope writing has found peace for you or life has. Short cut, value it, I find insulting. (Previous comment) Wonderful poem

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  • Marvin Brato (5/26/2008 10:58:00 PM)

    Sad poem but filled with substance/lesson about addiction! Maybe try sensuous addiction to feel not pain but ecstasy! A 10.

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  • Sulaiman Mohd YusofSulaiman Mohd Yusof (3/1/2008 11:12:00 PM)

    there's no shortcut in life. value it.

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  • Richa Dhodi (2/22/2008 11:52:00 PM)

    i really like it.
    keep going..

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  • Riquetta Elliott (1/29/2008 8:48:00 PM)

    This is beautiful I like this a lot. Keep on writing.

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  • Atsiylah Garfinkel (12/11/2007 11:58:00 PM)

    While poetry is meant to express yourself through, this poem hurt. Because of the reality, or maybe because no one at 18 or 19 should have so much pain to cause this. Though I've been some very dark addictive places, you make me ache for you. I join in the previous comment, peace and joy. I hope you find your way back soon. Until then, you're in my prayers and good wishes.

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  • Scott Austin (12/10/2007 11:00:00 PM)

    This is a very heart breaking read to me. This addicition seems to be very hard to break. May peace and joy fill your heart once again soon.

    Scott

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