Woodies Poem by Francie Lynch

I get woodies
When I crap,
Explain to me
What's up with that.
I ain't bi,
I ain't gay,
I ain't queer
In any way.
But them woods
Keep coming back.
Explain to me
What's up with that?
It's beein happening
Since God knows when,
Explain to me
My straight friends.

When constipated,
I'm elated,
Unless
The girlfriend's prostrated,
And I'm incapacitated:
She's seductive on her back
(Or any position, that's a fact)
Then I want to have a crap,
Then I want my woodie back.