Words Spoken: Too Much Too Early Too Soon Poem by Dennis Ryan

August 24,2006

"When are you going to realize you need other people? "
- Isa speaking to Marie in the French film La Vie Reves de Anges

" ‘Be moderate in all things, 'you say.Your things,
your moderations, as though we should all want the same things... "
- William Bronk, "Hippolytus"

Isa's patience, her care wins out in the end—la vie reve de angels.
She doesn't hurt Marie—Marie hurts herself, in too many ways.
We have a funny sort of friendship: we hurt one another
once we expect something more from the other—sooner or later,
I hurt you with words, you me with lies, your various alibis.
I expect too much too soon, give away too much too early.
And you give back very little in return, as much as you can,
I guess. We no longer live nearby and as time goes by
share less and less which shouldn't surprise me though
it does—I have such expectations of you.I teach sometimes,
write these poems of sadness and regret; I am my bad habits,
my unconscious: I should give less.By the way, I received
your package the other day—it was, wasn't what I expected—
a surrogate dream-life.I watched the film again last night
until Isa's patience, her self-control won out—Is that what matters?
Patience, self-control, delayed gratification?It's so hard for me
to know at this point in my life.Still, I know one thing:Isa cared
so deeply for Marie, the same way I've care for you.Please...
there's so much to tell—no, not about love—I had to watch that final
scenes again: Marie jumps; the aftermath; Isa working out her life—
these honest scenes depict so much I have tried to forget.I love
how Isa speaks honestly to Marie, giving her good advice untaken.
I wish we could do the same without our emotions, our guilty cautions
getting in the way—how Isa tries to help Marie see through things—
it mattered so much in the end.So much in life is tender, tentative,
tendentious, contentious, cruel...I want to promise I won't hurt
you again with words spoken: too much too early too soon. I want
to. I just don't know if I can keep that kind of a promise knowing you.