You Always Give Me A Five (Only For Poemhunter Poets) Poem by Robert Melliard

I know you're out there.

You're not very imaginative:
you could give me a three or a six or a two
just not to be so obvious,
but you always give me a five.

Is it your magic number?

You seem to check my poems often,
because as soon as I submit some new ones,
there are your fives again.

At least you increase my number of hits
now and then, for just a day.

But do you realise how dispiriting it is
to get just five out of ten
when so much went into one little poem?

Are you an envious fellow poet,
desperate to limit my popularity?
(Not that I'm doing especially well.)

Or you may be someone
I've offended during my life
(it's hard not to do that sometimes)
and you heard about my poems
and want to do me down.

But five is actually a nice number.
We have five fingers (including thumbs)
and five toes (from big to absurdly small)
and we basically have five senses,
though a sixth one tells me you're weird.

Despite your efforts, I need to warn you
that my average number of hits per day
has gone up considerably over the years,
so readers clearly don't pay much attention
to your vaguely damning grades.

If I live to be a hundred, at this rate
I might even become a little famous.

Even if you're computer-generated
especially for this blog,
I'd like to give you a bunch of fives.

Note; a bunch of fives is a colloquial British English expression for a punch in the face.