Suicidal Happiness

Quiet and proven to be unknown
I have no name and I am all alone
Sitting in the back of the classroom as I watch the humans speak
Loneliness is all I know and darkness is what I seek
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Angels fall and babies cry
Walking around mindlessly insane and I don't know why
My vision of ecstasy is only you
That happiness that I've never had leaves me hopeless to
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Tears that break you
Hell that shakes you
Fire exits locked
The gay kid mocked
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Burn the flowers
Rip the curtains
Don’t fake it
Unless you’re certain
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Try so many times but all those times you fail
Alter your life to make you happy because it’s your tale
Fall because you can no longer stand
You sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man
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I don’t feel that the sun is going to come see me to day
It will leave me in the darkness with no other way
They say misery loves company, so I guess I’m the company always producing misery
I used to be able to feel ok but now I feel empty
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Stanger that I met, tell me about your life
Tell me your problems and I’ll tell you mine
Your dad isn’t here and now you feel lost
You thought that he would keep contact at all cost
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I remember it like yesterday
He stood up and took my breath away
I remember wondering what he was doing walking around class
He’s happiness torn and his gaze as sharp as glass
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Well what a great day
As the tears I cry fade away
What am I here for?
I don’t feel like I can take this anymore
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Oh darling girl, sweet sixteen
Walking alone what a movie scene
Going to see her sad girl
The one she said was her world
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That sleeping beauty that kills you with one kiss
You leave this world you thought you’d miss
That dearest girl is full of poison and blood
She will forever convince you that your death was for love
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Torn paper and shattered tears
Suicidal attempts and hated fears
Cold heart and broken wings
Hated life and psychedelic things
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Butterflies in the meadow
Unicorns snorting cocaine
Silence makes it easy to listen to the echoes
Of broken and insane
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Mother dearest doesn’t want me
I’m never what she wants me to be
Mother dearest wishes me dead
She wants me to take back all I have said
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You and I together
For you I will die forever
I know I want you to be mine
Forever and always in eternity time
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Everybody dies but not everyone ever lives
When everyone else takes everything from you and you have nothing left to give
The world starts to fall burning to the ashes
All sanity built shakes and crashes
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Rumours that you believe
The things that you perceive
I never lied to you I swear
And your silence is hard to bare
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I miss you my mother dear
All I wanted was for you to be here
But your never here, your always gone
And you have been gone for so long
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Let's swim out past the borders and watch the world die
Suffocate in misery and forever question why
When angels deserve to die and we both fell from heaven
But we hit the world to hard and know we are the burden
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Walking up the creaking stair case that leads me to my fate
Each step inching closer until I can’t turn back it’s too late
My feet are heavy and my breath grows faster
In this moment I have a clarity of this life that is stuck in this disaster
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