THE HOLY POET

In the year we won the treble and the RFC went bust
We opened up our floodgates whilst theirs collected rust
The league is now devalued or so we've heard them claim
But the Green Brigade just partied as they always do at games.
...

I can’t explain to lesser men, they just don’t comprehend
What I feel within my heart, they’ll never understand
We’re more than just a football club, much more than a team
With a richness money cannot buy and that others only see in dreams.
...

We all know Lewis Carroll was a little partial to cocaine
But he'd have trouble dreaming this one up, it's way beyond insane.
The exodus is gathering pace with yet more walking out
They're dead but they're still drowning with the newco now in doubt.
...

They came over in their thousands
starving and deprived
Destitute and penniless,
these Irish were denied
...

He looked like something from the past,
People mocked but he laughed last
From Canada, back home he came
To buy our club and keep the name
...

Henke was slim but strong as an ox
And his pace was so quick that once in the box,
You'd gamble your mortgage, you felt it a cert
That wee Henke Larsson'd hit the back of the net.
...

His antics on the sidelines are that of many fans
Speaking out or standing fast but all he gets is bans.
These are his emotions and the passion that he feels
And he pays again with deathly threats which most find so surreal.
...

Mr. Murray isn’t silly, he’s just keeping out of sight
And letting dear old Craigie boy deal with all his *****
Insolvency’s the latest craze that’s sweeping Glasgow town
And just like every other scam, those lads won’t let us down.
...

They moan if there’s some trouble and complain if there is not
They criticise the songs we sing and the players we’ve just bought
They say there’s too much passion then say we’ve lost our pride
But the truth is they’re just jealous of two wee teams on the Clyde.
...

He’d quietly go about his job and be up the crack of dawn
Then halfway through the morning shift, he’d just say, “Right, I’m gone”
And he’d fly to mass in Paradise, singing out the Hymns
But not the kind you’ll hear in church, they’re songs of famous Tims!
...

This man’s a hero to the fans with his gallus little stance
Determination, grit and steel, we’ll always have a chance.
He took the field against the foe, his eyes all fired up
Relentless running up and down, the day we won the cup.
...

He joined Celtic, aged thirteen years, a ballboy at the game
The youth team knocked upon his door, his skill had gained him fame
The bhoy from Viewpark Uddingston, would stake an early claim
To become the greatest ever Celt, the world has ever seen.
...

A screamer had silenced the whole of the pub
And the faces just dropped in our wee London club
It was the third time this season the old firm had met
And our goalie’s first job? Pick the ball out the net!
...

Will The Daily Ranger change its name, now its sporting parent's dead
Of course, I meant The Daily Hun, 'Rangers'' mate in bed
Let's speak about their journalists, the most delusional of fans
They're only guys who copy/paste from other rags at hand.
...

Walking away's now mandatory or so my big mate says
And it seems the last have done just that, over Govan way
Whittaker's now with Norwich who'll face us at Paradise
Lafferty's with the yodelling Swiss and singing Edelweiss.
...

Weehandsome. 27th June 2012.
(Aka Eddie Fitzgerald) .

He has the gift of seeing something when there's nothing there to see
...

Before Sky invaded every home, our fans flocked to the pub
The pub was rammed, the drinks were tanned down at our wee club
A place to watch The Celtic and get to meet new friends
And although we've changed the venue, those friendships never end.
...

Born in sunny Govan, June Nineteen Thirty Eight
And just two hundred yards from home were Ibrox's wrought iron gates
Though he started out at Killie, he was loaned out to Rob Roy
At 15 years straight out of school, wee Joe was just a bhoy.
...

They ate the famous fish and chips
With sauces and their chili dips
And now he's honoured them by name
They star in ads before the game
...

Sally bought a burger bar, to boost The Rangers' fund
The Ibrox staple diet, aimed at those he thought rotund
With stakes in his beloved club, his life would be complete
But the steaks that he referred to, were slabs of bloody meat.
...