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Instructions For Doctors And Next Of Kin At My Death (Some Guidelines) ...... [Personal; in 7 short sextions; 2006]

Section The First: At my death some restrictions apply:

If in Monroe County when I die
U. of R. Med School will get me for their supply.
Dying out of Monroe,
please tie tag to my toe,
pay, and get me to a Med School nearby.

Section The Second: Besides location, there are other restrictions:

U. of R. Med wants all my limbs there,
delivered a in day or less; seems fair.
No nasty diseases,
too much fat displeases,
have yellow donor card or beware!

Section The Third: Let’s hope it’s the last time I burn!

If dead too long for Med School to take,
my disposal should still be.... a “piece of cake”.
Find an incinerator...
(the cheaper the greater) :
at two thousand degrees, “ashes” you rake.

Section The Fourth: If I’m only half-dead! (See other donor card!) :

Though Med School should be cheapest way,
I’ve got money for ‘end’,.... so I say:
“If you could give my parts,
to give others fresh starts,
docs and others you have my O.K.! ”

Section The Fifth: OR Save on air pollution and help a tree grow:

If you could, and not get in trouble,
you could toss what’s left with the rubble.
You don’t even need to burn.... me;
enough worms will then......turn me...
to fertilizer “on the double”.

Section The Sixth: Last expenses for “dear old B.E.”:

As of this day, finances are fine.
Cash needed at death CAN be mine.
If no time to get at.... it...
don’t worry about that.. a bit;
I should still have a good credit line.

Section The Last: “Blurb” at least rhymes with “disturb” (and it’s close to what I mean) :

I (sort of) hope these don’t you disturb.
I thought it time.... for this lengthy blurb.
I MAY outlive you ALL,
or.... from a HIGH building fall,
OR be ‘gone’ when I step off this curb.

Submitted: Thursday, November 21, 2013
Edited: Friday, November 22, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

almost 8 years since i wrote these tips for my disposal,............and i'm still kicking! unfortunately i have moved (twice) and have no 'nearby' med(ical) school to donate my body to for research, practice, etc. i also have ceased to call myself a 'body parts donor' as i would like to have control over who (or what!) gets my parts. it just wouldn't seem right if some loverboy/'don juan' got one of my parts and told all his ladies that it was REALLY his! ! what do YOU think about that? :)
until life insurance premiums become prohibitive, i have several policies from which most of the benefits should go to non-profit organizations i support.


(February 17,2006; edited 2013)

Comments about this poem ('6 Foot 3'......[LONG; Scary; Gross; Murder] by Bri Edwards )

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  • Paul Brookes (11/22/2013 7:22:00 AM)

    Still laughing. I tried to give my body to medical science but the didn't want it. : O( Great Poem Loved it BB : O))) What sextions?

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  • Is It Poetry (11/21/2013 4:17:00 PM)

    c instead of x except before
    y, I don't know.....iip

  • Bri Edwards (11/21/2013 3:50:00 PM)

    did anyone catch the 'error' in the 'title'?

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