Ardwynn Odanracne

Ardwynn Odanracne Poems

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The Show (The Girl That I Used To Know)

She laughs
As though she owns the world
And everyone turns to see
And she stares back with those mirthful eyes
That beckon you to smile with glee.

…and you can’t help but laugh along.

She talks as though there’s no tomorrow
About the things she’s seen and read
About those she’s even heard,
From the bubbling brook that’s in her head,
Waiting to blow, waiting to be said

.…and you just listen,
for listening to her
is a fresh breath of air.

She smiles
As if she can’t really hold it,
Her eyes sparkling,
Her hilarity uncontained, untouched.
And she grins that slit-eyed grin,
Trying to bear everything.

She flies
Like the streaks that line the sky.
She flees in a whirlwind
Of enraptured desire.

And there she goes,
Vanishing from sight
A beautiful being, yet broken inside.

She stops, feeling her way
Settling down yet unable to stay
And she hides herself in a corner,
Feeling defeated and devoid of power.

Where has thy mirth gone, fair lady?
Where is thy laughter now?
Everyone is watching, can’t you see?
They’re waiting for your graceful bow.

But wait, your armor has fallen
Won’t you pick it up?
Pick up the pieces and stop your crying…
Is there anything to make you stop?

She gathers her courage
And slips back to the world
Beaming with sunshine and smiles of old
But beneath the laughter and the engaging grins,
There lies her heart,
Battered and in pain.

She lifts her chin haughtily,
And admits nothing to the world,
And her mask is her only shield
From the madness and the cold.

The lies are taken in stride
And she rides them the way she knew best,
She hides the scars beneath her mask
That continues to laugh, continues to jest.

…but nobody notices still.

Fair maiden, why the tears?
Why the brevity of laughing?
Where has your delight gone to?
And pray tell, why are you hurting?

Your heart is shattered, so we see,
But go and slip your mask back on
For the crowd doesn’t want to see
That the girl they knew has gone.

She struggles,
Walking with her head high
For everyone expects her to do so
Even if all she wants to do is cry.

And so the tears she’s kept has dried
Burning holes through her soul
But the comparisons bury her alive
And she dwells in the pain it inflicts upon her morrow.

The competition kills her strength
Like daggers that bury themselves in her heart
Like the thorns that stick forever
To the unyielding vines that will never part.

Now she smiles
Bitterly though it may be,
Cradling her shattered pride
Trying to restore some of her dignity.

She walks on,
Behind the shelter of her mask
Where nobody could touch her
For nobody has and must.

She enters, and bows to start the show
For the crowd is now waiting
With hearts beating
For the girl that I used to know.

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