bob eichen
bob eichen Poems
Hello Devil.
YOU AGAIN! !
No wait! This time I really know what I want and I want to make a deal.
YOU SAY THAT EVERY DAY! ! !
...
Thur 11: 00PM
Dear Diary,
It's now been 4357 days since I started writing poetry.
It started out so well.
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A Haiku
Flaming red hemorhoid
Toilet now a bloody mess
...
When I was younger
I had three drugs
One let me sleep at night
One brought me happiness
...
When I was young
I had two good friends
John Barleycorn
and
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Oh, dear God!
YES, BOB. WHAT IS IT?
I need your help again!
NATURALLY.
...
(KNOCK, KNOCK)
I'm in here!
I KNOW! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR HALF AN HOUR. OTHERS DO HAVE TO GO TOO.
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Today,
I choose to hate!
I'm hungry.
So I'll hate the race of Macrodonts, with their huge white teeth, that gnash and gnaw and munch and crunch as they eat up all the food.
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A Haiku
Indestructable
That's how I pictured myself
...
Two planetoids caught in the gravity well of your black hole.
Nearby,
So too,
A spinster, enchanted, enthralled, entombed.
...
Now having caused so much mischief in the realm of heaven, all the Gods joined together to drive Trickster into the lands of the Mortals.
In the sky, as Eagle, Trickster brought thunder and lightning.
In the sea, as Shark, he summoned the tidal wave.
In the desert, as Tortoise, he brought sandstorm.
...
It isn't fair. It isn't fair!
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
At home,18 years,6570 days, of a father who physically and mentally abused me while my drunken mother watched and did nothing.
...
There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Bob.
Bob loved God and feared God and tried not to sin.
One day, God told Satan, consider my servant Bob. Bob loves me.
Then Satan said, God, let me take a whack at him.
...
I'm sad today
Sad today
Oh, so very sad today
And yes
...
May I help you, sir?
ONE LUNCH, PLEASE.
That'll be $8.99.
I THOUGHT THEY WERE FREE.
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bob eichen Biography
I originally wrote these poems under the name Dee Shaw, a twist of my wife's maiden name. I've been convinced that there's no longer any reason to try to hide these poems from my family.)
The Best Poem Of bob eichen
A Conversation With The Devil
Hello Devil.
YOU AGAIN! !
No wait! This time I really know what I want and I want to make a deal.
YOU SAY THAT EVERY DAY! ! !
I know. But I think of ways you'll trick me and I back out. You are the Master of Deceit.
WELL, YOU GOT ME THERE.
This time my wish is perfect!
GO AHEAD, LET'S HEAR IT.
I want to be the richest person alive
and the smartest
and the strongest
and the most handsome.
No wait!
I want to be the only man alive. That'll make me popular with the ladies!
And get rid of all the ugly women, no fatties or dogs.
And get rid of all foreigners
and everyone of a different race
and religion
and political affiliation
and no one too old or too young
and get rid of anyone with a disease or who's lame
or has bad teeth or bad breath
and kill all red heads
and anyone with annoying habits.
And last of all, I want to be immortal! Then my soul will always be safe.
There! That's my deal. This time I'm sure. What do you say to that?
SO YOU WANT ME TO KILL ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T FIT INTO YOUR PERFECT WORLD?
Yes!
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THIS DONE? WAR, FAMINE, PLAGUE, OR HOW ABOUT ALIEN ABDUCTION?
Oh yeah! That last one, alien abduction. That sounds cool!
WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUT IF I KILL ALL THE PEOPLE YOU ASK ME TO, YOU'LL BE ALL ALONE. FOR AN ETERNITY, BECAUSE YOU ALSO WANTED IMMORTALITY. DOES THAT SOUND ABOUT RIGHT?
No wait!
Uh.
I think I changed my mind. Can I think about it and get back to you tomorrow?
OH HELL, WHY NOT!
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3/14/2026 9:27:43 PM # 1.0.0
