When I was just a youngster
Aged thirteen
I did believe
My English teacher was a monster
Not warm and light, not the friendly type
But a monster with fangs to chomp yah
With sharp fingertips, and all nasty bits
Who smells like a school dinner Dumpster!

I tell my parents about my teacher
They say,
'Don’t lie to me
I don’t believe
Your English teacher is going to eat yah'
“We’ve met him and he's a gentleman
Of which none of these traits did feature'
“But mum I say, I’ve got English today'
Too late, it’s time to face the creature!

The bell rings it’s time for English lesson
What is in store?
There is no way of telling
A shadow falls over the floor
Mr. Brassbee appears through the door
All the Children are steady
With homework at the ready
As Mr. Brassbee puts chalk to the board

A boy whispers at the back of the class
This noise is his last; Sir turns round so fast