John Richey

The feeling of fear, as it rushes through you..
Knowing you can’t stop your intolerable behavior…

No way out, no way to escape the helplessness.
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The special bond… the connection between two,
Feeling special, giddy even, at the thoughts..
Mesmerized by the illusion, only visible to you..
The one you conjure from love…
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The battle that is only yours to battle…
The invisible foe that always appears,
Defeating the nemesis, achieve victory,
Rising against all doubts… fears.
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Late at night, when the world is at its calmest, when it’s easy to drift away…
My mind wanders, of things to come and things that never will
Oh, the exploits and endeavors I imagine, being the person I wish to be.
To explore the deepest depths of my mind's eye, never really wanting to leave
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Where no one can hear, yet you hear so clearly…
To have it attacked, it’s nearly devastating.
The negative words, the disapproving whispers,
When banded together, in a ruthless mob,
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Gusts of winds blasting through the soul,
Fiery determination being plunged into the ocean depth…
Hope is a loose-end that shreds easily.
Control ruptures and becomes chaos when the nerve is pinched.
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Trying to be so elusive in my pursuits of affection,
To try to be ignorant with my affliction,
Wondering what would happen if I dare fall.
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The rustle of leaves in the quiet breeze
The warm feeling of the bright sun on my back,
The cooling feeling of water around my feet…
But I’m all alone out here,
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Not knowing what to say, nor having the knowledge to fathom the possibilities.
Earnest in my search for emotions to no longer conquer over my willpower…
The right action to do, to carry out, is far too elusive for me to seize
Branching out to explore new alternatives, to find the right solution
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Compassionate caring, loving dearly,
When alone, sharing thoughts...
Feeling emotionally free, never lonely.
Each kiss gets increasingly better.
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Locking my eyes into yours,
Catching my breath, stunned...
Feeling numb from head to toe,
Desiring the slightest touch...
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Torrents of rain crash into the ground,
Each drop a silent threat from above,
Daring anyone to be out during the clamor.
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If I can't see you, you can't see me.
I don't want you to be witness to my sins,
To have to bear how flawed I am.
It's difficult seeing you this way,
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When I look into your bright eyes,
Your radiance shines through.
Blinding me with your brilliance,
Surely, i'm unworthy to be near.
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Words esacpe my lips unfiltered,
Coming straight from the core of my being...
Not edited in any way shape or form,
Dedicated only to you.
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Always feeling so hopeless,
Intending to only what's right.
Searching for an end to the pain...
All the trails lead to nowhere.
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