Activities of Kate Kate

My mother always said that there are worse parents out there
But what is worse than a mother being emotional abuses by her child
What is worse than a mother screaming shut the fuck up to their child
What is worse than a mother making a child think they are worthless
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My heart is broken
But it was not by a man, no
My heart was broken by a love story that wasn't even mine
I watched a tv show today and balled my eyes out
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When a person you love is died
it's like they weren't in your life
a world you never imagined becomes your reality
And then you forget the simple stuff like their birthday
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Seasons of change show your shades of sadness.
Focusing on the weather can drive your mind into madness.
As many shades of grey on a day you can see through.
Looking through shows me the the true view of you, the new, your blues, if you grew or just split into 2.
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The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.
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I don't know if it's real
I want to believe in love
I have convicted myself to think It Is real
if love is not real
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I am dreamer
I dream of a perfect life
A life with adventure
A life that is better than mine
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Attention
I want Attention
I won't be seen
I'd like the world to see how I am
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I am scared of love. I don't want to get my heart broken from tropes from fairy tales. I can't handle being the second choice. I am afraid of opening my heart and losing them. I want to love someone badly but can't open my heart. I can't watch bittersweet movies. I don't want to go through the heartbreak of falling in with characters and seeing them not get the happy ending they deserve. I want to see them happy, I want to see them joyful, I want to see myself happy, I want to see myself optimistic. I Don't want my love life to end tragically. Why can't I love out of my comfort?
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Don't get attached is what I have to tell myself.
Because I can already see a future of me losing them
But I know I am going to forget about this
Forget about how much this means to me
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