Matthieu (Mateo) Belinski

I am real.
I am a real person. I struggle and I sparkle. But I have a voice. I am no longer afraid to say what makes me angry, sad, or what I think to be unfair. I am not afraid to admit that at times I feel worthless, lost or not enough. However I'm refusing to hide from love, beauty, aliveness, magic and abundance. I won't edit any of the sad or messed up parts of my story or the magnitude of my triumphs to make anyone comfortable, bc this is my story.. I am who I am. It's who I am. I am a real person. I struggle. I sparkle. But I am real

M. Belinski
...

Iv smiled and Iv cried
Iv been blinded and Iv seen
Iv fallen and Iv risen
Iv made and still make mistakes
...

I lie awake and feel the gentle warmth of your breath as it would fall upon my cheek. I imagine the heat of your body pressed against mine; the softness of your muscles nestling against the hardness of mine. I turn and lay my head against the pillow, feeling your heartbeat drum a lullaby in my ear. A thousand butterflies kiss at my skin, and I long to feel the softness of your lips. While I know we will be together, my yearning in your absence only cements the true depth of my passion. Until I can see you and hold you, you will remain omnipresent in my dreams. I am consumed by the desire to be with you, to talk to you and to feel you near me. I want to hold you, talk to you, laugh with you, and cry. I want to play with you, walk with you, and dance with you too. To be your everything and your everything to you.

M. Belinski
S. Paris, Maine
...

Every word you confide in me, every wonderful and terrible moment you share with me, melts me inside.
You let yourself be vulnerable with me and trust me beyond my comprehension.
I never imagined I would truly find a woman who I would want to spend so much time with, who could truly touch my life the way you have, even without trying. I look forward to many more special moments together. When I see you, I see our future. I never knew how joyous life could be until I saw your face. My heart leaps like a hummingbird in flight every time I see you. And it is you that inspires it. When I think about you and our rich conversations, I feel a warmness inside.
I cannot hide my smiles, even when we are apart.
...

The day I met you, my life changed. In every aspect, it changed. The smiles and laughter we share are irreplaceable. You have this incredible way of taking me to another happiness. One that brings my true self to the surface. I was a little late to be your first love, but I'm prepared to be your last. It takes an army to win a battle but it only took you to win my heart. You are without a doubt are my other half. I love you now. I'll love you tomorrow. I'll love you forever and always. Cheers; To Alicea, my future wife

M. Belinski
South Paris, Maine
...

I'M ME! ! !

I'm not perfect, I'm me.I've made bad decisions and wrong choices, but I'm me. I've said the wrong things, I've said the right things, bc I'm me. I don't like everything I've done, but I did it bc Im me. I've loved the wrong people and I trusted the wrong people but I'm still me. If I had a chance to start again I wouldn't change a thing. Why? ! Bc I'm me and it's made me who I am today. There are a lot of good things about me but you have to look past the imperfections to see what's right. If you can't do that, then it's your loss bc At the end of the day I'm the best that I can be. Bc I'm just me
...

'Each other'

I can see you, you can see me, and what we see, amazingly, is each other
...

If I could I would nail these hands to the edges of stars. I would sacrifice this body to the sky hoping to resurrect as someone spiteful enough to not care about you anymore.

Staple me to a cross. Pierce my side with a broken promise and I will bleed out all the crippled reasons why you deserve one more chance.
...

It's been a very long six years, day and night I still have tears... I try and try not to cry but the pain of your absence still makes me sigh..... You are my light and I wish I could hug you tight. Lastnight I had this dream that you and I were sitting by the stream....... You looked at me as I began to cry and said 'it's ok son; now hold your head up high'. Don't worry bout me because I am pain free.. Just remember son that I love you and this is nothing new.... I have to go now but I'll always be here when you need my ear... Now please wipe away the tears that you've bottled up all these years and remember, its how you lead your life and how you treat your wife'.... It was then that I looked up and and only saw a trace of your face..... I love you Dad....

George Beau Belinski
May 4,1947- April 15,2006
...

The saddest things in life
are missed opportunities,
The hardest thing in life
seems to be 'truth',
...

Who would of thought that wind and rain
Could cause so much damage and
bring so much pain.
...