Patrick Shields Poems

Its dark outside gray clouds cover the sky
An appropriate setting for this depressing day
I sit up in bed look at her picture and start to cry
Since you've been gone I'm so alone and afraid
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This expected day has finally come to past
Laying on a gurney with a cloth over my face
Who knew that today would be my very last
All people have to remember me by is I was a disgrace
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I run my hands through my thick hair
Tears slowy run down my rough cheek
You've left me heartbroken and scared
Because once again I am so very weak
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It's only been two weeks but it seems longer
Now my heart breaks with every passing day
If only I could've prepared my heart and made it stronger
Why did things have to end up this way
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An open bottle of vodka sits on my nightstand
Along with bottles of Xanax, Vicadin, and Morphine
I pick up the bottle of alcohol with six of each pill in my left hand
I was the pills down with the vodka waiting to feel the sting
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We lie motionless on the cold wet ground
Hands bound behind our back blindfolds over our eyes
Left to rot out bodies never to be found
Just because we where the ones to question your lies
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So you broke down my many barriers just like before
I've lowered my guard to let you in once again
You pleaded with me 'Patrick please once more'
And I agreed to once again be your boyfriend
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I lie on my bed tears falling from my eyes
My wrists ache and have continued to bleed
I have the blankets over my head to muffle the cries
As my suicide note I start to read
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Why did they have to find me?
Why couldn't I have remained face down?
Why couldn't things have gone differently?
Why did I have to be found?
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Take a good look at me
At what your cruelty created
Why did you feel the need to leave
Leave me here alone where I'm severely hated
...