2010/08/08 Self-Doubt Poem by Margaret Alice

2010/08/08 Self-Doubt

Every time I mention my feelings I get a speech
about how other people do not have the right to
upset us, every time I express my depression we
have an argument about how I am in the wrong
about everything

Now I cry all the time, knowing all I think and feel is
taboo, at least I can write it down without comment
as nobody who cares or thinks me a fool, reads any-
thing on the Internet, today I cried once more reading
about the young Aisha from Afghanistan

Unfeeling people claiming she has no right to live, they
want her and Time magazine cremated for daring to call
attention to the plight of women in that terrible land - you
rebuked me, claiming I had no right to be bothered about
these hateful people’s reaction

Now I simply cry about the stack of texts to be translated
glaring at me accusingly from my bedroom, I try to open
them, but the pain of self-doubt and rejection makes it im-
possible to take a glance at the hate-speeches directed
at the President - another batch of things

I am not allowed to have any reaction to, why don’t I simply
fall down dead on the spot, then nobody’s reaction to anything
would ever disturb me again, especially you, clearly a person
like me cannot be allowed to live…

Margaret Alice

Margaret Alice

Pretoria - South Africa
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