986 Tears.. Poem by V F

I cannot believe,
I still cannot believe
what you have said to me.
I go back and remember
as a tigress returns to the body of her dead cub
I go back over and over the words that you have so easily uttered
it is so hard to believe that YOU have said them
why did you have to be so heartless?
how could you be so cruel?
and how, how could I be so wrong in thinking I knew you?
Oh! Why do I have to learn such painful lessons?
loving you was painful,
barely did I accept it,
and tremblingly say so,
that you so ruthlessly declared
me to be ridiculous and disgusting!

but pray tell me truly,
all those times when you looked deep in my eyes,
why did you not feel disgusted with what you saw there then?
when we both spoke the language of love
why did you not think it ridiculous then?
if I even looked elsewhere you went berserk
and If I spoke to someone else you sulked for ages
what was the reason for your jealousy and possessiveness then?
was it all only a figment of my imagination,
can you fathom what you have done to me?
how shattered I feel,
how brutally beaten?
how many times I have died,
everytime I remember,
fresh blood seeps through
deep wounds you have inflicted on my soul.
you have made me feel so degraded,
stripped me of my dignity
molesting my soul oh how it hurts.
I feel so ravaged.
I cringe
everytime I remember
how you feel about me

Ridiculous

and

Disgusting.

(26th February 2002)