A Capricious Soliloquy - Poem by Khairul Ahsan
I have some inherent problems with love,
Contrary to the most natural human feeling,
I seem to be quite fine and okay, up and doing,
When love that I seek doesn't surface in my viewing.
Unloved, I can soar in the sky and fly like a bird,
I can sing, I can grin, I can write, I can imagine.
Flow from the mountains like a natural stream,
And sleep peacefully, can even catch a dream.
But my problem starts when someone loves me.
My voice chokes, pen dries, imaginations disappear.
As my wings feel heavy, I cannot fly or float on air.
Grounded, I walk like a winged penguin, that's so queer!
Love and me are not like hand in glove.
But like a remarried mother, and a forlorn child,
Who wonders at random, tricked and beguiled,
By the charms of missed opportunities, stray and wild.
Love blurs my vision, stops my rhythm, makes me deaf.
It stops the music within me, makes my voice quaver.
It suddenly turns a flowing natural stream into a glacier,
The Amazon inside me becomes a Rio Hamza, the slowest river!
And so I am happy without love.
Never give me a soft whisper, I may swerve.
Never give me an affectionate look, It may unnerve
Me and my psyche, as there is no love that I truly deserve.
26 June 2014
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