Who can endure, from day to day,
the spectacle of an unveiled human heart
with all its vanities, and all its weaknesses,
desires, pain and regrets; the pain
of that regret in not having gained that deep
relationship; the privilege of knowing who
that person is I call my son?
Somehow, there seems to be a gulf between
our lives. I tried to know, I thought,
but he had left before I learned.
This inmost loss between a father and son is spiritual privation,
wrenching soul almost beyond remedy.
What value is gained when, through desires and
selfish purposes, one may lose that intimate rapport
between oneself and one's own child. How hard
to bridge across that emptiness of forfeited time.
We still attempt to fill that void by talk, but not the deep philosophies
of life. Our calls are full of idle chatter:
"And, how are you? "
"Just fine, and you? "
"You Are? "
"Not much to tell."
"The same for me."
"Well, give my love to all."
"O.K. Good-bye, "
and, hang the phone upon its hook to wait and hope
another day for dialogue containing more profound
expression; one's more deeper thoughts.
Oh, well, this day has passed. I wait to share
with him a laugh, a tear; perhaps a time...another time,
when he and I...
'The phone? '
"Hello? ' and so on,
"Yes, I will. Good-bye."
fifteen years of heavy child support, and frequent visits to Chuck E. Cheese and Putt-Putt Golf, and a few years of having my youngster overnight with me and me and my second wife, and finally her graduation from Duke and then Syracuse School of Medicine, and her moving to Pittsburgh and getting married and working and having her first baby (i've visited the tyke when it was not quite a year old; that was 3 years ago) , and NOW...... (to be continued) ....
it's sad IF that's the way you feel, but it is what it is. i told my daughter, when she was less than 10 years old, that i never wanted to have children. by that time her mom had divorced me and i was out of the household, but not out of my daughter's life. but we were not bosom buddies and we had our separate lives, mine with work and a new wife, and hers with school, her mom, scouts, gymnastics, dance, etc. (to be continued) .....
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
now she rarely contacts me and i think it is strange how little effort she puts into communicating, BUT I LIKE IT. it's what i want. and it gives her a little more time for her own (adult) life. we say i love you, and i think we both mean it. Lynn, your poem to MyPoemList. bri :)