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A Memory Of Freedom

Rating: 3.3

Voices plagued my head today.
Posing numerable questions about me.
I battled and fought with these thoughts;
But one remained: When was I last free?
The night sky and its eyes could not ease
Much pain, but they managed to flick a switch
deep within the confines of my brain.

My two eyes glazed then twinkled,
Like vaults being prised open covertly,

By a long hunted combination.
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John Tiong Chunghoo 06 November 2005

lovely poem sean. keep on trying.

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Raynette Eitel 21 August 2005

Sean, this mood poem is full of great imagery...your eyes being pried open, and the orange moon. I think it needs 'tightening' a bit. Look for lines which seem a bit extraneous and cut them. I think you will like it better. Leave only the lines that bring you to your theme and visually. You are a true poet! Raynette

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Mary Nagy 18 March 2005

Very nice poem! ! So visual! ! I really enjoyed this! Sincerely, Mary

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