Explore Poems GO!

A Perfect Mess (Prose)

Rating: 4.2

10th of April 2013...
She comes in — walking with heavy steps...She walks in with naturally curly hair hiding her face — hiding her eyes.
There she sits — First row, third seat on the right, Like always...
She sets her black 'the Beatles' backpack down on the floor...
Choked on silence...Suffocating with her own words...Smothered by her own thoughts. Time is stretching...Something is killing her inside! Deep inside — it's killing her! ! She now takes a few breaths before taking her breakfast and iphone out of her backpack — Big chunks of oranges and apples for breakfast in a Tupperware...She checks her phone & goes through the photos posted on Instagram just to find a way out — hoping to find something that would keep her mind off.... Shitty Things keeping her mind busy! —those damn thoughts are disconnecting her from her surroundings!
She opens the Tupperware and picks a piece of apple and slowly puts it in her mouth — Mouth tastes of sick stomach twisting inside, she seems to have difficulty swallowing...She checks her phone to help herself take what’s upsetting her out of her mind... She lies to herself — She looks me in the eyes and lie to both of us saying that she’s fine... But I know — I know that there is something hidden under her heart... There's no need to tell me because it's written on her face... I can see her tears, I can see the sadness in her drowning eyes, I can hear the words that went unspoken....
But I don't know what to do or what to say....

READ THIS POEM IN OTHER LANGUAGES
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Hans Vr 13 April 2013

Wow, Sameera, This is indeed a deep piece. It is hard if we want to help someone but they do not allow us in. I am not a psychologist but naming the emotions you see so obviously when you have moments alone with her may help her to open up. She still has the choice to deny the emotions but feeling someone understands your emotions is often enough to really trust the person. I very much agree with what Soul was writing below that we always can ask guidance from our Creator. If we take the time for some prayerful reflection, ideas tend to flow in and the right path may seem so clear. This is a really thought provoking and excellently written piece of prose, Sameera. It provokes quite some feelings in the reader.

1 0 Reply
Zeenat Fatima 13 April 2013

very deep poem. It's really nice.

0 0 Reply
David Wood 13 April 2013

A very dramatic account and a good write

0 0 Reply
Frank James Davis 13 April 2013

Dramatic, even, tragic account. Excellent work, Sameera!

0 0 Reply
Unwritten Soul 13 April 2013

It's easy to have broken heart but it's not easy to heal then, care heart more because when it hurt it will last longer when you give yours to other, dont give all...keep some for self so you wont be lost when you lost it all...and above all let He guides you what love is_Soul

0 0 Reply
Matt Mooney 18 April 2013

Great writing. The trauma in the other's spirit is palpable. The big problem is what to do to help in a case like that.

0 0 Reply
Kevin Halls 16 April 2013

This comes over more like a short story but nothing wrong with that Sameera. You could use this as the beginning of a Trilogy? Lots in there for an intriguing tale of broken love etc. Anyway well done.

0 0 Reply
Kevin Halls 16 April 2013

This comes over more like a short story but nothing wrong with that Sameera. You could use this as the beginning of a Trilogy? Lots in there for an intriguing tale of broken love etc. Anyway well done.

0 0 Reply
Kevin Halls 16 April 2013

This comes over more like a short story but nothing wrong with that Sameera. You could use this as the beginning of a Trilogy? Lots in there for an intriguing tale of broken love etc. Anyway well done.

0 0 Reply

when I read this, I do not feel it like a poem I do not know why, I'm more inclined to say this is a story phrase from the brilliant observations but I love it, the interpretation that you wrote really detailed and touching I agree with Bright Morn, you managed to bring us-the reader- into the emotion that you want, as if we were there and to feel those emotions at the present I must admit that this is a truly beautiful work, really awesome look at your skills, I would not be surprised if one day you write a wonderful novel filled with emotions because I know you are capable of

0 0 Reply