A Phoenix Rising From The Ashes Poem by Oyekake Satty (O S) Joshua

I am not avoiding you
You have not done me wrong.
I am just hiding from everyone
To bear the shame of my failures alone.
To keep from the ridicule of fake friends
Who laugh the joy of my misfortune!
I cannot avail myself thus,
To the jeers, and sneers and leers.

I do not welcome them heartily
I refuse fake pity and empathy
Mockery disguised as comforting.
Or, it is just my shame spewing
That speaks vociferously in silence
As my failures, glaringly overwhelm me
And my sadness deepens within me,
Markedly, visibly to everyone.

How else can I define myself?
But a failure, a loser, a deadbeat.
The words echo within, deafeningly
I cannot tune off their thundering
I cannot ignore the facts before me.
This seventeen years beat-down.
Foresight has proven vain thus far
My efforts starved by failing dreams.

I am drowning in this quandary
Amidst this tumultuous vagary!
How should I see myself hither?
A Phoenix rising from the ashes?
Yes, I wish that, I hope for that
But hope is hopeless by itself
It carries no voice nor sway.
Whose promise is it anchored?

I have not heard His voice yet
Or, am I deaf to His unique avowal?
If He declared it, I can stake claim
I would hold-on to that promise
My hope would have grounding
And I, a Phoenix will rise indeed.
And the ashes are but my boosters.
A Phoenix I am, rising from the Ashes.