A Poem To Be Read All In One Breath (If You Can) Poem by hollie ash

I have a secret behind my lips and it is bitter like black coffee except with a hint of nostalgia, which I find tastes like nasturtiums; and it nestles in that space just in front of my teeth, burning my gums on contact, like a canker sore except that it didn’t used to hurt this much; I used to tuck it under my lip and almost not notice, but I have noticed lately that it has been growing, demanding freedom and liberty and justice; and now my secret has begun to swirl, gaining momentum from the back of my throat and I feel thick-tongued and light-headed and my teeth chatter and my throat constricts and I think a small sound is building in my chest, but when my mouth parts slightly I clamp it shut, hoping to grind the secret into small pieces between my teeth, whereby I could spit them into the dirt and walk away; but instead I swallow to no avail – it has morphed back into a whole and its bitterness spreads up to my nostrils, the tang of nasturtiums give heat to my clenched jaw and now the sound has snaked up my throat with a force I cannot reckon with, itself swallowing my secret and pushing against my lips with the momentum of a retch and my lips part slightly at first and then wider and wider until my jaw detaches and my canines glint and my eyes bulge and I am suffocating under the weight of truth, spewing words like darts and like missiles except that they have no color or texture and yet somehow they take shape and gain speed and I cannot stop them or change them or even take them back although now that they have left my body I realize that I can breathe again and I find the bitterness and nasturtiums to be gone and in their place is the sting of salty air, like from the sea, which we all know to have a healing quality.