A Ride To Anywhere Poem by Barry Middleton

does anyone leave childhood
am I still that small smiling boy
in the photograph
after all the suffering

people like to compare
whose pain was the best
everyone feels grief and loss
everyone feels betrayal

oh I envy those with easy death
plane crashes and decapitating wrecks
would ease the slow IV drip of death
and sips of poison to kill the poison

I have prayed for a heart attack
which likely guarantees
I'll never have one
as the gods seem out to torture me

the only consolation
is wallowing in self pity
and hiding from those who would
heal me with cheerfulness

where is that boy now
is he still behind these steely eyes
is he still waiting at the bus stop
for the last ride to anywhere