eyes the color of gold
there is a story that must be told
a passionate soul that is true
could i be the one for you?
within the darkness of night there is a secret i must hide
could you be the holder of my pride?
through the paleness of life,
you will never let me bring down my knife
with you buy my side i may never die
because i make you form a gentle sigh...
you tell me i have no strife
but what is the point of immortality if you deny your self the simple pleasures in life
the immortality i declare is not the answer so beware
I like the imagery as well as the freedom of the rhyme scheme. Good job!
The immortality i declare is not the answer so beware.........thought provoking line...You talked about freedom about doing little things that makes one happy, you talked about immortality in which you only have it in your mind? hhhmmm nice irony when there's no absolution in the end...10
I really like the tone of this poem specially the first 6 lines...It's very convincing and a shocking truth hides in the words with a surprise. This style of writing poetry is a lot like mine but yours is only a little more Ingenuous... this is very impressive and well fitted with the context...keep it up!
This poem reminds me of Twilight {a novel 4 those who don't know}, and that's a good thing because i LOVE Twilight: D Cheers, (je l'adore!) H&K's ~Jess~<33
Nice job on this poem keep up the good work cb
love the last line n the rythm of the poem! ! =]
love the last line n the rythm of the poem! ! =]
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
An interesting little story. There are a few misspelled words. Be sure and reread the piece again. Again, a nice piece of prose to begin. GW62