alan brown

Gold Star - 6,649 Points (England uk)

A Very Wet Friday, Where Is The Plumber - Poem by alan brown

I got up one Friday morning
to hear a terrible din
My pipes were banging and rattling
and leaking on my bin.

I got the local phone-book
to try and get a fix
But I couldn't find a plumber
as he wasn't on the list.

I asked the woman next door
and she didn't have a clue
But she offered me a quick fix
A tube of supper glue.

I put the glue on every pipe
but the noise only got worse.
I wish I'd never touched it
under my breath I cursed.

I thought I'd travel into town
to try and track down him
but as I left another pipe burst
and flooded my dressing gown.

I knew I needed real help
but what was I to do.
So I went into my wardrobe
and got myself a shoe.

I jammed the shoe in tightly
behind the leaking pipe.
It stopped the water flowing
but the sound banged with all its might.

Just then a passing stranger
Knocked upon my door
and said they knew a plumber
as he lived at number four.

I rushed out of the war-zone
and ran right down the street
And knocked hard on number four
I hoped I wasn't beat.

The plumber answered quickly
and I told him of my plight.
He said that he was busy
and would call round at ten that night.

I went home and waited patently
for that knock upon my door.
But the pipes were banging endlessly
And I could stand it no more.

So I went back to the plumber
and dragged him up the street.
He wasn't very happy
as he had no shoes upon his feet.

He looked at the rattling pipes
and at the boiler too.
Then he looked at me foolishly
as he removed my soaking shoe.

He turned a tap and banged a pipe
then saw the super glue.
He looked at me
like I was mad
But what was a girl to do

From out of his bag he took a tool
and turned a loosened nut.
The noise it stooped instantly
and the leaking pipe shut up.

The moral of this story
the moral of the poem
Is if you can't find a plumber
then call on him at home.

Topic(s) of this poem: funny

Form: Free Verse

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, April 19, 2018

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