Evey Vendetta

A Winter Fire (Story) - Poem by Evey Vendetta

It was a cold winter night in January; we were on our way home. My mother and I had just come from a long day at the salon where she bought my late but awesome Christmas gift. I wanted teal streaks in my hair. My hair looked great I was happy and we then went on to sonic to get some food. We soon left there and began our way home. My mother lives out in the woods and on nights like this it is very dark. We came upon her road all u see is pitch black darkness n glimpse of the dirt road through the headlights, We drive slow in case deer jumps out. Once we reach the drive way I'm totally excited to jump out of the car to straighten my hair since salon lady didn't and I wanted to see the completely finished look.

Now this may not seem so scary to some due the fact was not as bad as it could have been, but to someone whom never been in a situation like the one I'm about to tell you its life changing. We entered the drive way and soon as we turn the car off we hear it the sound that started it all. We heard smoke alarms going off but we didn't get to alarm least she didn't I guess it happened before n stove went out and made house a little smoky. She told me to stay in the car with bobby joe her dog while she went and opened the door. She now knows this was a stupid thing to do if there was a fire that could have made things a whole lot worse.

She goes and opens the door all you see is her turning away and dropping to the ground and black smoke rolling out of the house, at that moment she yells call 911. I was in a daze I couldn't find my phone when I did it was dead I felt my body go numb as I told her it's dead she grabs hers n calls I was doing fine tell she mentioned to the fire dept that there were 6 cats trapped in the house. At that moment I jumped out of the car and ran to the door n yelled the cat's names nothing happened these cats were all rescue cats each have there own story all I could think was the cats trapped and house on fire. I kept calling there names screaming as loud as I could with tears rolling down my eyes, my mom pulling me back away from the house trying to get me in the car. I soon I got in I plugged in my phone called my grandpa told him or at least tried I couldn't talk right.

I eventually hung up and was told to call randy my moms boyfriend and tell him to get home, by then we were out of the driveway in by the road waiting for the fire dept all we could do was sit and watch the smoke n pray that the cats are ok. I just knew they had to be dead they always came when called. Before you know it fire truck after fire truck came into the drive way. There must been about 20 vehicles from the dept there, flashing lights everywhere lit up the night. Neighbors from houses way down the road even came flocked around us most hugging my mom because she finally had lost it seeing the trucks was surreal. I just stood there alone were most be freezing I wasn't I was shaking profusely teeth chattering knees every bone my body was shacking m face was wet with tears and in all I kept blaming myself. If I hadn't wanted to do my hair wed been home to put it out before it got bad like this.

I don't know how long it was but seemed like forever all of a sudden here comes one of the firemen holding a skinny fragile little cat. I ran for her knowing it was Miss Abby the oldest cat we have nothing but bones she is but still going strong. I grabbed her wrapped her up best I could holding her crying again thinking at least ones ok. Nobody had told us anything yet bout the status of the house so were still freaking out we didn't really care the house burnt down we just wanted our babies out. By this time randy my moms boyfriend had made it home finally just in time to miss pretty much all the action. Next came another firemen holding a big orange kitty whom we weren't sure what one it was since was one the twins we found out it was Billy who don't like to be touched him n his sister Mary are still skiddish of people so shocked to see he got caught.

We now had two cats out 6 whom we shoved into the warm car eventually so they wouldn't get sick. The firemen then said he couldn't find anymore which made our hearts drop to the ground. The neighbor then had me n my mom sit in her golf cart were we sat for the remainder of the time till the firemen came out and told us that house was ok stove had been pulled out and taken out back away from the house. What had happen was the flames had backed up into the stove and went up into the hoper witch started smoldering the pellets there if we didn't arrive home when we did like I said could have been worse. Soon enough firemen slowly cleared out after using this hose n big fan to suck up some smoke out of the house. Then moment came were we had to go in.

We entered the house everyone calmed down but me I was still on edge. I immediately dropped my bag and food and ran around looking for the cats. Between me n my mom's boyfriend we managed to find them all safe and sound. I then sat down and I thought calmed down ate my food and watched TV like nothing ever happened. It didn't seem to bother me maybe because I was not thinking about it, I'm not entirely sure but at that moment I was happy.

We had looked around the house and signs of the almost fire were everywhere she has a 2 and a half story home n ceilings from top to bottom where soot covered black shadow spots every where. And the smell was not so bad I guess was very strong smelled like camp fire. At this point was getting late and everyone had went to bed so I did too as I walked down the stairs and I looked right at the spot were the stove once had been I stopped and took a deep breath n walked on past I then went the bedroom where smoke and stink hand not got to I guess since the door was closed. So I went in shut the door and lay in bed. I laid there for a moment before getting up n changing into my pajamas.

I was all ready and climbed into bed got all comfy n tried to sleep but I couldn't all I could seem to see when I shut my eyes was the smoke coming out the house visions of the cats scarred and hiding knowing it all started just outside the room I was in that if it happened again I probably wouldn't make it out because the back door was inches away from where the stove was. If the stove was inflames again my only choice would be to climb out my bedroom window probably. My mind was racing with thoughts these along with images of the stove n the evil flames inside flickering as if they were taunting me.

By this time I was shaking again worse then when I was outside it was so bad I couldn't even move. I then realized that what was happening was a panic attack. I managed to pull myself out of the bed and started climbing up the stairs the smile made me sick now I made it to the living room witch was the main floor and I sat on the couch looking up at the loft area upstairs which contained my mom's room and her bathroom.
Since my moms a bit of a grump when you wake her up, I was on edge wondering if I should wake her or if I should just deal with this. I just quit thinking and went on up the stairs I got to the door n then stopped and sat on the stairs wondering again if I should and started crying right there. I got up opened the door n way her small room is you don't have to walk in much to touch the foot of her bed. I felt around for her toes n started tapping her leg whispering mom hoping shed wake up but nothing happened so I left room n sat on the stairs again. Crying just wanting this feeling to go away I looked over at her dog who was in the cage next to me petting her. I decided to get up and try again and went in and did same thing as before. This time she woke up, and asked what was wrong and I told her I think I need one her zanaix.

I walked out and she came out too and turned the light on and her face looking at me was shocking I guess I was worse then I thought I was she raced down the stairs n had me sit on the couch while she went got 2 of her pills and told me to take them before long I felt myself calm down a bit she asked me what I was thinking I told her n she hugged me and told me it was ok the stove wasn't in the house anymore. I knew that it wasn't but the thought was freaked me out. We sat there for awhile before I told her I wanted to sleep on the couch I didn't wanna sleep downstairs anymore I hated just being down there.

My mom ended up staying up with me till the pills fully hit me n I was too stoned to care and soon passed out. Next day I wake up feeling a lot better but the smell being worse I don't remember much of this day though I know a man came out from a company called Servpro a company who detail cleans your house furniture after water or smoke damage. He explained the firemen told him to come out and told us what his company does and gave us a card and said call I'm if u want there help. I know we ended up calling them back after her boyfriend had come home. The rest of that day is a blur I know the next day I believe is when the guy came out again with a diff dude talking about the cleaning plan saying it be a week process there clean everything. They had already called the dry cleaners and they were to be calling about when to set up a day to come get stuff.

It was now day 3 since the almost fire the 6th of January and the following day was when everything was supposed to go down but today all we had plan was to go to the laundry matt and wash all of our stinky cloths. We stunk so bad it was un real, had a cashier lady at Wal-Mart say I smell something burning. We then told her it was us and then lady felt sorry for us after we told her what had happened. After what my mom thought would be a all day thing at the laundry matt, We were home by late noon. My mom and I had planned to go to the emergency room that night since I was still freaking out and afraid of the house. Just coming home and seeing the house from the drive way made me shiver.

So round like 9 or 10 after dinner we went to the hospital was there for awhile they ended up giving me bunch of zanaix said I was traumatized, like I didn't figure that out already.
We went home and I popped a pill and sat watched tv with my mom till I was so freeking stoned that the white wall became interesting. I guess its sad that I have to drug myself in order to be able to not be afraid.

The next day rolls around and we are up early to greet the servpro guys and the dry cleaner lady. The lady came got our curtains and quilts and coats n things like that. While the servpro guys came out early with the insurance adjuster to take measurements. My mom was talking to the insurance guy and he was nice enough to put us up in a hotel while the house was cleaned that week. So we found ourselves packing up for a weeks vacation to a hotel I was happy to get away from the house finally was a great feeling.

That whole week I was happy though at night still had to take a pill was still scared. I had racing thoughts of what if the hotel caught on fire would we make it out from the top floor I stared up at the ceiling as the pill kicked in looking at the smoke detector n the sprinkler. One of the days that week I don't remember what one we went to the stove place so that my mom n her bf could look at a new one I walked in hands clinched scared to death of the whole room. There were fireplaces everywhere some running some not. Everything was fire, fire, fire. My mind started racing again and I was struggling to keep my cool I didn't have my pills with me and I didn't want to freak out. So I sat in the corner away from everyone waiting for the moment to be over so we could just get out of there.

It was like the stoves were all monsters n the ones running were the leaders. They were after me, after my soul. I could see the flames dancing around in 3 different stoves taunting me driving me crazy. Finally randy was done talking and we were leaving and going back to the hotel where I felt the safest at. After our week there we eventually returned home me still feeling Erie about the house. The house was like a monster just like the ones at the fire place store. There all in my mind in it to get me.

We enter the house again and im last one in of course hands clenched scared to death of something I'm not even sure of. I get in house is clean smells fruity, walls are whiter but you can still seen soot stains on the walls. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing everything ok again as it seems. Later that day the carpet guy comes out n finishes up the last of the cleaning. Whatever cleaner they used it smelled like gummy bears. That night I slept once again on the couch still not wanting to go downstairs.

Today is January 26th 2013 it has been 23 days since the day of the incident I'm still here at my moms fulfilling my whole purpose of being here witch was to help her through her total knee replacement surgery witch she had on the 15th. I'm still sleeping on the couch for 2 reasons now, one because of the fact the downstairs sleeping downstairs is like sleeping with the devil. The other reason is because my grandpa is here now helping too and is sleeping down there. The house looks good now the downstairs smells a bit but I guess there's nothing we can do about that. I guess there going to repaint the whole house in the summer insurance will pay for that.

Last night was first night in 23 days that I had not took a pill to sleep. I wanted to prove to myself I could sleep without it and I did. One other reason was because yesterday we went back to the fireplace store to buy a new stove though I did not go in. I have a few pills left before I'm going to need to go home to see my doctor about getting more to have on hand. Hope it won't be so bad once I'm home so that wont need them but wont hurt to have on hand just incase. I still have the shakes all the time like right now I'm shaking just the nerves I guess. My grandfather was a fireman I was raised up around knowing about fires n knowing what they can do but you never think that one will happen to you until it does. This was a life changing thing still haunts me the same as it did when it happened I sit here n look out the window and see the stove outside and all I can see is that night.

Earlier this week we had a power outage due to a big snow storm, my moms bf lit a candle and placed one on the table in front of me I seen the flam and I instantly started shaking and it was that night all over again so I had to run n pop a pill again I barley slept that night knowing fire was lit inches away from me. My mind went on with thoughts like what if the cats knock it over, what if the flame somehow jumps out n catches house on fire. All I had was a bunch of what ifs.

I don't know if this will ever get better but I hope it does the key is to live day by day I guess. Now my readers will probably feel sorry for me and that I simply don't want because in a way my mind is so over reacting. There's worse things out there and I just cant live every day afraid of things like I am now. So all I ask is to comment and enjoy I guess I just wanted to get this all off my chest.

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, January 31, 2013

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