A Word From A Suicide Poem by Marien Jacobs

Stop asking questions; I beseech,
Cause without complains I have reached
The point to say goodbye.
I wished you could have guess and say
That life become too much for me,
So, to die was the only opportunity.

Maybe my life was like a closed book,
No sign of depression, even if you look
Around; and neither of us had the suspicion
That in my life would land some seed of depression.
I didn't want to tell you it was bad,
Cause I was scared you would become mad.

Without any use, I try to get rid of the seed,
But to find the wind blow it back, deeper in, was the last I need.
My vision was dark, I have no sight,
And my face was tearstained by night,
But now everything has come to an end
I pull the trigger, and life is no more a friend.

I hope you remember me as someone happy,
Who fits into society, life, and your family.
A child with a sunny disposition,
I wish you would see me in that position.

Please don't be angry with me,
About my death; do not disagree,
Cause I am now history
On someone else, focus the prayers of thee.

(1998)
(Translated by Marien Jacobs: Uit die mond van 'n Selfmoordenaar)