Adam And Miranda Poem by gershon hepner

The stories of the bible that you know are
not true tales of what really once occurred.
According to the holy book of Zohar,
when God told Man he grievously had erred
and therefore should prepare to leave the garden,
He was astonished when He heard Man say:
“Now wait a minute, God, I beg your pardon:
it’s You has to leave––I’m going to stay! ”
He hoped that with a technicality
he might get off, as often happens now
to people of the highest quality
who do the sort of things laws don’t allow.
Regardless of the crimes which is it is said
you have committed, if your lawyer sees
a loophole in the law through which to thread
your case no judge will bring you to your knees,
and if it turns out that your rights were viol-
ated, though you’re guilty you will walk;
your case dismissed, you’ll never go to trial,
for rights trump trashy prosecutor talk.
But God had read Man his Miranda rights
and followed all the details of the book
He gave to Moses after forty nights
and days, and proved that Adam was a crook.
There were no technicalities to save
his skin, once he had covered it with leaves
of fig trees. It is clear he was a knave,
no legal tricks were hidden up his sleeves,
and that is why the two of them were forced
to part and go off on their separate journeys;
just like unhappy couples who’re divorced,
they went their separate ways without attorneys.

Inspired by an interview of Daniel C. Matt on NPR on March 3,2004.