Alone Poem by Anita Khelawan

Alone in this world that’s how I feel
So many emotions I rather not reveal
Tired of living up to everyone’s expectations
What about what I want you say stop play the victim
Never assume because u make an ass out of u and me
But what do I know (u never know) I never had the time to be me
Unconsciously you dictate my life
Funny moments I never had the time to smile
Always walking around with serious faces
I thrive for excellence because I don’t want to you to think I’m average
Is not that I don’t appreciate your teachings
Hate telling you I have exams it’s both a curse and a blessing
Always preaching I push you because I want you to have the things I never had
All well and good but I just need you to be my dad
You gave me everything and no doubt I’m grateful
Heated discussions are really a handful
I aim to please in every way possible
(Take pride) Because of you I’m a perfectionist
I have to be somebody never just a static
You make feel academically incompetent
Belittling most of if not all of my accomplishment
This is not constructive criticism
Maybe I’m wrong you tell me
You see I never really had that moment to talk to my daddy
So many things comes to mind
Words following together so simple to rhyme
I hate when you say ‘ohhh look that’s your family’
With disgust I know you don’t like them quit it already
I hate when you say I’m not for anybody who ain’t for me
For crying out loud I’m your child you suppose to love me unconditionally
I come never tell you what truly comes to my mind
Why do I bother pleasing you when I know I’m the un-favored child
You ever gave me any other reasons to feel different?
I feel I’m too bright like a bulb …
Well you know what happens to a really bright bulb they blow
But what can I say ‘Sorry for being cultured’
To others you are the ‘Greatest Dad’
But To me I’m still hoping to find the dad I never had
Yours truly your ungrateful, conniving daughter,
Anita